Fuck this week.
I’m tired. I’m grieving. This is too much.
I was really trying to figure out how to write this newsletter at this time. And I was getting really close. I was just about to hit that perfect equilibrium of charming humor and heartfelt sincerity. But not this week. I can’t be cute this week. Ashley Tisdale, we love you, we celebrate you here at HB/LB, but this week, please bop to the side.
During times of crisis, I’m not the type to step up. I retreat. I dissociate. I cocoon and wait till the coast is clear. I just want to be able to go to my bed and cry and call it a day. I just don’t know how to engage with these stories of violence anymore. I’m lost. I’m at a loss.
And you know what? I don’t want to be the hero of my time. Like, I can’t take the pressure of it. And the guilt I feel every time I have that thought makes me sick to my stomach.
I’m coming to you as one single person, speaking solely on her own behalf. I’m just some nobody who leans on reality TV, 2000s nostalgia, K-Pop, and questionable humor to cope with the inconceivable evils of the world and the institutions that protect them. I don’t have the answers. I’m just here to grieve with you. And right now, I feel that’s all I can do.
#BlackLivesMatter
xoxo,
Simone