Advent Day 23

"I'll tell you how I'm doing. Not well, bitch!"

“Hey, Simone,

Yesterday seemed like a rough one. Feeling any better today?”

No. Moving on.

Today, I have for you a Christmas short: Chris Shepherd’s Bad Night for the Blues, a film about a young man spending Christmas with his very curmudgeonly aunt. It works for me on a few different levels. It is under 20 minutes, which pairs beautifully with my plummeting attention span. It is sad, which pairs beautifully with my sad. And it’s about all those complicated and painful feelings we have about family during the holidays, such as, the pandemic is making it complicated for me to see my family during the holidays and that is painful. 

You know that magical Christmas love people keep talking about? I wonder if that extends to the love that’s been muddled with resentment and anger. Does that love count? Does that love get placed on the altar with that easy love we have for fresh babies and new lovers and old school friends? It’s not love that is very nice to look at, but… are we going to opine on it in the same way we do when love is in the club?

Maybe Christmas is the exact right time to talk about this pricklier, uglier love. It’s too easy to ignore otherwise. Christmas is a confrontational time, in that way. You have to sit with a lot of difficult feelings. It’s all very 2020. So, perhaps Bad Night for the Blues is the Christmas film that best captures our collective “OOF.” It’s all about dealing with that ugly love, whether or not you like it, whether or not you’re ready to handle it gracefully. We’ll have to muddle through somehow.

So have yourself a Bad Night for the Blues on Criterion Channel if you’re subbed or on Vimeo for free.

And to all dealing with these same sucky pandemic holiday feelings, I feel you, I see you, I love you <3