“Where have you been, Simone?
… It’s like, one second, you can’t shut up about how you’re h-word* for Jeff Goldblum from 43 years ago, and the next, you disappear. What could possibly be taking up so much of your time in this time of having too much time?”
Okay, first of all, I have an avoidant personality and I’ve tried to address it but it’s actually too hard so now I’m just rocking with it.
Second of all, this is an aggressive energy to welcome me back with -- yes, this exchange is all from my own brain but still…
Thirdly, you’d think we’d have more time without all the commuting and stuff, BUT (this is true and according to science) days are actually shorter since the pandemic. They top out at 45 minutes now. Although sometimes they end up lasting 35 hours. And you can never know which one it’s gonna be until you have to get anything done and you’re like “the thing I have to do and the amount of time I have to do it simply does not match.”
But to answer your RUDE question that I PROJECTED onto YOU, I’ve actually been working on something I’m pretty excited about. If you’ve ever enjoyed reading my words but wondered what they might sound like, boy do I have an opportunity for you. And this is actually fully an EXCLUSIVE, SNEAK PEEK moment. You are a member of the glitterati and this is a hot media insider tip:
I’m hosting (rad) a brand new podcast (sick) from Gimlet and Spotify (tubular) and it premieres in a week (cowabunga!!!)
The show is called Not Past It and we tell history stories. All kinds of ‘em. Weird history, funny history, sad history, surprising history… no spoilers, but some of these stories have made me be like, “humans have always been deeply strange and confounding organisms, no wonder we are profoundly effed” and other times, I’m like “humanity is gorgeous, we are divine beings.” So strap in, because there’s A LOT to cover.
Not Past It premieres June 2nd, only on Spotify. And while you wait for the full shebang, check out our TRAILER.
Follow me on Twitter for updates about the podcast and other assorted thoughts (like where do I apply to the 4th member of this Thompson-Ora-Waititi situation?)
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Thank you for subscribing to the world’s most inconsistent newsletter! I’ll see you again when I get my life together (could be next week, could be five years from now. C’est la vie!)
xoxo,
Simone
*As in, rhymes with “thorny.” This is me being family-friendly.